Ethan (Blackbeary Creek 1) Read online

  A minute later, he realized she wasn’t looking at him, but at his bedroom on the second floor. She placed her hand against the glass, mouthed something and smiled sadly.

  Then she was gone.

  He got up, went inside, and cleaned himself up. Her actions, while strange, gave him hope. Did she feel something for him, too?

  There was only one way to find out.

  He set his clock, stripped off his jeans, and climbed into bed.

  Tomorrow, he would face his mate, his alpha, and the consequences of his deceit.

  Chapter Two

  Tegan took a deep breath and knocked on the door to her brother’s office. After their short talk the night before, she’d carried her ice pack up to her room and laid awake for hours trying to figure how to tell him she wanted to leave.

  Even though she was confident it was the right decision, saying the words wasn’t an easy feat. Tristian had been her guardian for the last eight years, and he was the only blood relative she had left.

  Her hands clenched into fists as she thought back to that fateful night, and she closed her eyes in a weak effort to block out the memory, but it didn’t help. Suddenly, she was sixteen again, and working on a Friday night with her parents in their diner.

  The night had been slow with only one or two visitors after the dinner rush, and they’d spent the evening playing cards, laughing, and eating big bowls of ice cream topped with loads of whipped cream.

  Ten minutes before closing, her father’s smile suddenly disappeared, and as he placed her bowl under the counter, he’d ordered her to hide. The fierce papa bear rarely surfaced, and the behavior was so inconsistent with his gentle, loving personality, that she’d froze in fear. Only a threat would cause such a change in the man.

  “Tee,” her father said, quietly. “Get into the closet and lock the door. Don’t come out until your mother or I come to get you.”

  She slid off the stool as fear raced through her veins.

  “What’s wrong, papa?” she worried.

  “Hurry now,” her mother said, ignoring her question. “We love you.”

  After glancing at her father one last time, she raced through the kitchen, locked herself in the coat closet, and sank to the floor. She’d wrapped her arms around her trembling knees, and strained to hear and understand the mumbled voices in the other room.

  Suddenly, a shot rang out, and then another, and another, and another. A second later, the once friendly chime of the bell tied to the front door rattled in haste, and then total silence filled the air.

  She knew the truth, but that didn’t stop her from hugging her knees tighter and mentally begging her father to come and unlock the door. Shifters could heal from most wounds faster than humans, but they couldn’t escape death.

  Tears slid down her cheeks silently as she garnered the courage to let herself out of the safe space, and peek through the window in the door separating the kitchen and dining room.

  At first, the place seemed completely empty, but she knew better. Her parents wouldn’t leave her alone, not both of them, unless they didn’t have a choice. It didn’t take her long to find their motionless bodies on the floor behind the counter.

  She called the authorities, and then stayed with them, sobbing, until Ethan’s parents had to pull her away. The two couples had been best friends, and because Tristian was too far away to catch the murderer’s scent, Ethan’s parents had hunted the man down in their bear forms and administered justice.

  The horror, fear, guilt and loss of that night had broken her heart in two, and her breath hitched as she opened her eyes and returned to the present. Over time, with Tristian and Ethan’s help, she’d learned to overcome her fear and guilt, but nothing could erase the images of her parents in death, or mend her broken heart.

  At one time, she’d believed the love of a mate would be her salvation, but when her eighteenth birthday passed and revealed her pure human status, she’d known she would never truly find peace.

  She took another deep breath and pushed the past out of her mind the way Ethan had taught her. She could still remember his soothing words from all of those years ago, and though his voice was now stern and unyielding, she still found comfort in the memory.

  He and Tristian had both held her tight when she’d cried for weeks after the incident, but she’d always felt better in Ethan’s arms. Part of the reason was because Tristian was her brother, and Ethan was…more. She’d fed off his strength, and in those moments, it had felt as if he’d somehow absorbed all of her pain, leaving her almost whole again.

  Unfortunately, once they’d learned she couldn’t shift, Ethan slowly built a chasm between them that could never be crossed. Deep down, she’d hoped that his indifference had been all in her mind, that he hadn’t really pulled away, that he’d just been busy, but his words the night before had confirmed what her head knew all along.

  The man who her heart wanted didn’t like her anymore.

  ***

  “Come in.”

  Tristian’s booming voice startled her, and she pushed the melancholy thoughts away and focused on her mission. If she didn’t seem confident, Tristian would deny her request, and she couldn’t let that happen. She was leaving either way, but she’d rather have his consent.

  Ignoring her shaking hand, she reached for the handle of the door, turned it, and stepped inside Tristian’s office. He was sitting behind his desk, working, and he waved her in. She closed the door, sat on the couch across from him, and waited.

  Within two minutes, Tristian closed his laptop, rounded the desk, and leaned against the wood. He crossed one leg over the other, and folded his arms over his chest.

  “Your face looks better,” he observed. “How do you feel?”

  “Good,” she said. “I iced it several times last night, and it feels a lot better. I also took some ibuprofen this morning to help with the swelling.”

  Tristian nodded, and glanced out the window before speaking again.

  “What's on your mind?” he asked.

  Though she wasn’t technically a bear, he was still her brother, and there was a reason he was alpha of their small clan. She should have guessed he would know she hadn’t stopped by for a friendly visit.

  “I'd like to leave Blackbeary Creek,” she blurted.

  “Ethan overreacted,” he said. “You're not reckless, and you’re not a prisoner. I trust you, and you can leave anytime you want.”

  “I know, but that’s not what I mean,” she took a deep breath. “I don't want to leave for the day, I want to leave forever.”

  “Forever?” he blanched. “What are you talking about?”

  “Ethan may have overreacted, but some of his words held merit,” she explained carefully. “I'm not a bear, and though I try to be careful, trouble always finds me. One day, it might follow me here.”

  “If it does, then we'll take care of it,” his said, firmly. “You know that.”

  “That's not the only reason,” she said. “I know don't fit in here, but I also don't fit in out there. Honestly, I don't fit in anywhere. I’m an outcast in both the shifter and the human worlds, but I have to learn how to take care of myself.”

  “You belong wherever I am,” he said. “I will always take care of you.”

  “One day you're going to find a mate,” she reasoned, “and I'm going to be a nuisance. I'd rather that didn't happen—”

  “It won’t,” he interrupted.

  “It might,” she said. “I want you to be happy, and I know you won’t start looking until I’m gone or taken care of.”

  “That's not true,” he said. “I just haven't met the one.”

  “We both know that’s not the point,” she said, “but it doesn’t matter. I’d like to move to the cabin.”

  “The cabin?” he asked, stunned. “I can’t protect you there.”

  She looked at him pointedly, and silence filled the room as he studied her. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud, she knew she'd won this one.
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br />   Tristian, however, wasn’t ready to admit defeat.

  “You make some valid points,” he started, “but wouldn’t you rather have a house of your own? You’re older now, and honestly, I should have built you one years ago. I didn’t because I selfishly wanted to keep you close, but we have plenty of room. We can build your home right next to Graham’s…”

  “I don't want a house,” she said. “Not in Blackbeary Creek. I know this is hard to accept, but I need to venture out on my own, and I think the cabin is the perfect place to start.”

  “You never use it,” she continued, “and it’s exactly what I’m looking for right now. It’s secluded, but close enough to town that I can get supplies—or help—when I need it, and it has an excellent, secure internet connection thanks to Graham. All of my work is online anyway, so I can still support myself, and I truly don’t mind being alone.”

  As soon as the words slipped out, she realized her mistake.

  “You don't mind it,” he said, “but it's not what you want. Not really.”

  She couldn't have what she really wanted, but she could never admit that to Tristian. Ethan's words about omission being the same as lying echoed through her mind, but she couldn't tell him the truth. She didn't want her brother to lose his best friend.

  She opened her mouth to contradict him, but he suddenly narrowed his eyes.

  “Is this about Ethan?” he asked, standing, fully on alert. “Is there something going on between you two?”

  “What?” she questioned, calmly. “No, of course not. This is about me.”

  “Things have been weird between the two of you for some time now,” Tristian said. “You know you can tell me anything don’t you, Tee? You don't have to run away. I'll tell Ethan to leave if I have to.”

  “No!” she screeched.

  Tristian raised an eyebrow at her outburst.

  “I mean, no,” she said, calmly. “Don’t do that. Nothing has happened. Truthfully, I do feel something toward him, something that’s not reciprocated, but that's not the reason I'm leaving.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Tristian questioned. “You're leaving your brother, and your best friend, to go live in a secluded cabin alone for the rest of your life. Ethan has nothing to do with that?”

  “No, he doesn’t,” she replied, adamantly. “I don't want to be a nuisance to Graham the same way I don’t want to be a nuisance to you. It won’t be long before you all have mates, and I honestly doubt I’ll ever find anyone. I’d rather not see what I’m missing every day of my life.”

  Tristian's brow furrowed, and his Adam’s apple moved up and down in his throat as he studied her for what seemed like hours. Finally, he nodded and granted her a small smile.

  “As your brother,” he said, “I don't want to let you go, but as your Alpha, I understand why I have to.”

  “I can go?” she squealed, moving to the edge of the couch.

  “Yes,” he sighed. “You can go, but you are still my sister and you are still part of this clan—”

  “You’re the best brother in the world,” she said, jumping off the couch, and wrapping her arms around him. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he sighed.

  He closed his arms around her, and rested his head on top of hers.

  “But,” he cautioned. “You will never stop me from worrying about you, so if I call in the middle of the night, you’d better answer your damn phone, and if there are any threats against you, or just anything you think is weird, you have to alert me at once. You also have to keep in touch, and visit often. If you don’t want to come here, then I’ll go there, but this will never stop being your home. If you decide you want to come back, then you come back. No questions asked. You got that?”

  She couldn’t help but smile at his longwinded tirade.

  “I got it,” she agreed against his chest. “I promise.”

  “Good,” he said. “Oh, and one more thing…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ***

  Ethan walked across the clearing to the main house. The bright afternoon sunlight made him squint, and he took a swig of the warm brew housed in the paper to-go cup he held in his hands. It was his third cup of coffee so far today, and he took another drink in the hope that it would finally chase away the fog lingering in his head.

  He’d run until nearly four in the morning, chasing Tegan from his head, but after she’d appeared in the window, he’d had to start all over again. Even though he’d been exhausted, he’d been unable to erase the sad image of her looking out the window from his brain. He didn’t give in to sleep until the sun had started to rise in the sky.

  The few hours of sleep he did get had been restless, and after waking up for what seemed like the tenth time, he’d given up and decided it was time to take care of business.

  He’d gotten up, showered, and drove to Delilah’s.

  Delilah’s Bakery was home to the best cinnamon rolls in town. Actually, the owner had mad skills with dough, and everything in the place was good, but Tee was in love with the woman’s cinnamon rolls. He remembered she’d gone there nearly every morning for over a year after she’d graduated college, and he’d decided the night before that he needed all the help he could get.

  With both Tegan and his alpha.

  In the bakery, he’d scarfed down four breakfast muffins, two cups of coffee, and a cinnamon roll of his own, before ordering one to go for his mate. If he knew his alpha at all, which he did, he knew he would need all his energy for their discussion. The food and coffee would help make up for his lack of sleep.

  He ran up the steps to the main house, and as he put his hand on the doorknob it swung open from the inside. Tegan let out a squeal of surprise, and then gasped when she recognized him.

  “Oh my God, Ethan,” she laughed nervously. “You scared me half to death.”

  The bruise on her face was faded, and still visible, but nothing could take away from her beauty. The urge to hunt down her date from the night before and seek vengeance rode him hard, but he knew she would never give him the information he needed to find the guy.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I came to talk to Tristian, but I wanted to talk to you, too. Do you have a minute?”

  “Only a minute,” she said. “What’s up?”

  Two houses over, he heard Graham’s truck roar to life, and he suppressed a growl that threatened to escape. He knew Tee and Graham were friends, and though he was jealous of their relationship, he couldn’t be that guy. He wouldn’t dictate who she was friends with just to sooth his flawed ego.

  He handed her the plain, white paper bag.

  “What’s this?” she asked.

  “Consider it a peace offering,” he said. “I’m sorry about last night. I was rude, plain and simple, and there’s no other way to say it. It was uncalled for, and it will never happen again.”

  Her smile fell when she unfolded the neatly creased top, and looked inside the bag. The action confused him, but she spoke before he could find out why.

  “Thank you,” she said, closing the bag again. “I don’t really eat these anymore, but it might be good for the…for later. You don’t need to apologize, though—”

  “Why don’t you eat cinnamon rolls anymore?” he asked.

  “What?” She stared at him like he’d gone mad.

  “Why don’t you eat cinnamon rolls anymore?”

  “Don’t be a jerk,” she said. “You know why.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  His voice was rougher than he’d intended, and he took a shallow breath to help calm his nerves. It didn’t help.

  “Just forget it,” she said. “Look, while you were wrong about me sleeping around, you were right about everything else. I am a problem—”

  “No!” Ethan said cutting her off. “You’re not a problem, and I know you don’t sleep around. I was angry because—”

  The h
orn on Graham’s truck beeped twice, and once again jealously swamped him.

  Fuck!

  “Sorry Ethan,” she said, turning to wave at her best friend. “I have to go. Thank you for the cinnamon roll, and don’t worry about last night. You’re a good friend to Tristian, and a good second in command, and I know you were only doing your job. I accept your apology.”

  She granted him a beautiful smile, and he lost all train of thought. He opened his mouth to say…something…but nothing came out. He could only stand there, frozen, as he watched her run down the stairs and climb into Graham’s truck. Once her seatbelt was on, Graham gave him a tiny two finger salute, and drove off down the driveway.

  He knew he had no business of being jealous of the younger bear, in fact he should be grateful to Graham for befriending her in college, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to chase down the truck, and rip Graham apart.

  He could feel his bear close to the surface, and his hand tightened around the flimsy, paper coffee cup. He moved to jump off the stairs, but the warm liquid coating his hand stopped him.

  He looked down to see the crushed paper in his hands, and he realized just how close to shifting he’d been. Now that he’d decided to reveal his true feelings to his mate, it was hard to hold back and keep his distance. Until he told Tegan the truth, though, killing her best friend probably wasn’t the best way to win her over.

  Shit!

  He sighed, and willed his bear to calm down. He still needed to talk to Tristian, and until he did, it wasn’t the best time to chase down and claim his mate.

  He entered the house, threw the crumpled trash in the kitchen garbage can, and washed his hands. The words he had for Tristian played over and over in his mind, but his planned speech didn’t make saying the words out loud any easier.

  The only thing that pushed him toward the door to his alpha’s office, was the desire to get their confrontation over as soon as possible. The sooner they hashed things out, the sooner he could work on Tegan.

  He crossed the room, and knocked on his alpha’s door.