Idle Bear: BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance (Bear Mountain Book 4) Read online

  “Turn around,” she said and stripped off her hospital gown when he complied.

  “Listen, Sara—”

  “I don’t care what he told you,” she said, pulling the tee over her head. “He did something out there, something remarkable, and I have to see him before he leaves. He needs to know how I feel. Okay, you can turn back around.”

  “Sara,” he said gently. “He asked not to see you again.”

  "He doesn't want to see me? He's just…running away?" she asked, stunned. The sheriff’s words broke her momentum.

  "I'm so sorry. I really thought he was ready to move on."

  “You know his secret, don’t you?” His silence told her everything she needed to know. “You can do it, too, can't you?”

  “Yes. I’m a bear, too," he nodded.

  His affirmation pushed her to move again.

  “Take me to see him, or I’ll find someone who will,” she threatened.

  “Relax. I’ll take you. Who knows? Maybe it will help him see how ridiculous he’s being.”

  ***

  Sara jumped out of the squad car, with Gage close behind, and raced up the stairs to the door of Aaron's hotel room. He opened the door quickly, clearly expecting to see the sheriff alone.

  “What are you doing here?” he barked.

  “I came to see you,” she said, and walked past him into the room.

  “Why did you bring her?” he asked Gage in the same accusing tone. “What part of ‘I don't want to see her again!’ didn't you understand?”

  “Careful,” Gage warned, and Aaron relaxed slightly. “I relayed your message, but she'd be here whether I helped her or not. I figured I better give her a ride, you know, since she's been shot and all.”

  She saw Aaron visibly pale at the mention of her being shot, and her heart filled with hope. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he cared about her wellbeing. Maybe she could convince him to stay.

  “Thank you for bringing her,” Aaron bit out.

  “You're welcome,” Gage said, pointedly. “I'll be outside.”

  When Gage left them alone, she looked around the room. Except for his backpack, the room lacked any sign that someone had stayed there for nearly three weeks.

  “Going somewhere?” she asked.

  “Yes, I have to leave.”

  “Why? Because of what happened in the woods?”

  “Yes. I lost complete control. I'm sorry you had to see that.”

  The defeat in his apology tightened the band around her heart. He was giving up without giving her a chance.

  “I'm not,” she said, honestly. “You have an amazing gift.”

  “Gift?” he laughed dryly. “You're delusional if you think changing into a bear is a gift. I'm cursed, Sara. I was born a shifter, and I'll live out eternity as one. It will never go away. I've tried so hard to control it, but I can't control it around you. Today you think it's amazing, but when the shock wears off, you'll realize how disgusting I am.”

  “I'd never think that,” she said. She took a step closer to him and linked her hand with his. “I know you've been hurt before, but I'm not her. Trust me, Aaron. You don't have to hide from me. I love you. Please don't go.”

  He squeezed her hand, and in that one, fleeting moment she thought everything would work out. In the next moment, he broke her heart.

  “Ugh, what is wrong with you?” he asked, disgusted. He pulled his hand out of hers and crossed the room, putting as much distance between them as possible. “I'm an animal, Sara. I know you like to fuck every man that comes through town, but are you so hard up that you'd fuck an animal?”

  His hateful words left her speechless, and the shock of his attack left her immobile. Tears filled her eyes as she realized what they shared meant more to her than it had to him. Their attachment had been visibly one-sided.

  “I…,” she cleared her throat. “You’re right. I am delusional. I fooled myself into thinking I meant something to you. Please excuse me.”

  She opened the door and ran past Gage who stood on the other side. He called her name, but she didn’t look back or slow down. She raced out of the hotel parking lot and ran home. As she raced up the steps, Gage stopped his patrol car in front of her house, but he didn’t intrude or humiliate her further by trying to apologize for his friend. He drove off once she entered the building.

  She locked every door, raced upstairs to her darkened bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Her sobs filled the room, but she didn’t try to stifle them. She allowed herself to cry for her loss, and then vowed to never cry over Aaron—or any other man—again.

  Chapter Five

  Aaron would never forget the look on his mate’s face when he said the disgusting words that would push her away forever. Shock had been followed by pain, betrayal, and ultimate sadness. He’d said the words, and then watched as her heart, and her trust in him, broke into pieces. He’d wanted to sever their ties, make her hate him, and he’d succeeded.

  Unfortunately, watching her run away had the opposite effect he’d hoped for. His bear roared inside and fought for control over the man. A cold sweat covered his skin, and the magic of the bear thrummed through his body causing him to tremble. If he didn’t move quickly, he’d never make it to a safe place to shift.

  The sheriff stepped into the open doorway and blocked his exit. He didn’t have to see the man’s glare to know the clan leader, both the bear and the man, had lost faith in him.

  “I know you’ve struggled with what we are for a long time, but this is the first time I’ve ever been ashamed to call you my friend,” Gage said. “That poor girl deserves so much better. You’d better get out of here. You look like crap and I don’t feel like explaining the sudden presence of a pathetic grizzly walking the streets of my town. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

  With those final words, the sheriff turned and left him alone in the room.

  Aaron put on his backpack and raced out of the room toward the street. Goose bumps covered his skin, and the tiny hairs that covered his body rose, signaling the change. He didn’t take the time to check-out of his room. He knew Gage would handle it, and he had to get to a safe place before the tiny strand of control he held onto snapped and his bear roared to life.

  He ran down the street in the direction of the two-lane highway that led visitors in and out of town, and hurried into a patch of dense trees that lined the road. He continued running toward the interstate, desperate to get as far away from his mate as possible.

  As soon as he was hidden, his control shattered. He instantly turned into his bear form and continued running south, fueled by anger and heartache.

  Resentful of being ignored for nearly a century, the animal side took over and ignored the human. They were two parts of the same magical spirit, but they dueled for superiority. The bear was stronger and continued to run.

  He had no concept of time, and no concept of distance. The only thing he recognized was the feel of the ground beneath his paws. Hours later, after the sun had set, he grew tired of running and found shelter in a hollow cave. He spent the night in his bear form, unable to convince the bear to turn back. The animal was determined to stay on four legs for as long as possible and Aaron gave up the fight in exchange for rest.

  As he drifted off to sleep, his mind focused on his beautiful mate. The way her soft curves fit perfectly against him, the smile she only shared with him, and the horrible things he’d said to her before she ran out of his life forever.

  Gage had been right, she deserved so much better, but he couldn’t help wondering how he would continue to live without her.

  ***

  Sara woke to the piercing beep of her alarm and sat up quickly to turn off the annoying noise. Her eyes were caked with dried tears and she could barely see as she walked to the bathroom. The wound on her arm ached, and flashbacks from the previous day filled her mind. Joy and amazing revelations were soon replaced with pain, her forgotten prescription, and Aaron’s hateful words.

&n
bsp; She detested the fact that she’d mistaken his friendship for something more. Even after he shattered her heart and embarrassed her in front of the sheriff, she couldn’t make herself dislike him. She wanted to. She wanted to hate him more than anything, but she felt a pull toward him she couldn’t explain. She shook her head as she showered and desperately tried to forget the special moments they shared. They weren’t special. Other than an easy fuck with the small-town fatty, she meant nothing to him.

  The truth hurt, but she had to face the facts. They were nothing more than two people passing the time together.

  After a shower, a cup of coffee and a quick pep talk, she walked down to the café to pick up the muffins and sweet rolls for her guests. Luckily, she had a standing order for Sunday morning and Randy, the café owner, would be expecting her.

  When she arrived at the eatery, Kate let her in and locked the door behind them. A pang of longing shot through her heart when she saw her friend, but she pushed it away. Aaron had revived her long buried feelings of having a family again, but she knew her fate and that dream needed to die and never resurface. She had to accept the fact that she’d probably grow old alone.

  “Can you stay for a cup of coffee?” Kate asked.

  “That sounds great,” Sara said, sitting at the counter.

  She felt bad about letting her friend wait on her, especially since she was six months pregnant and most likely carrying twins, but she knew not to intervene. Gage was the only person in town who could convince his wife to rest and take it easy, though he hadn’t persuaded her to quit her job yet.

  Kate set a cup and saucer in front of her, then filled it with the coffee pot she held in her other hand. She returned with a bowl filled with little containers of cream and a glass of water. Sara absently ripped the sugar packets and prepared her coffee as she waited for her friend to join her at the counter.

  “Thank you for loaning me some clothes,” Sara said when her friend sat down. “I’ll get them back to you soon.”

  “Don’t worry about it, there’s no rush. Just get them to me when you can,” Kate assured her, and then took a drink of water. “How are you doing? Do you want to talk about it?”

  “I’m okay,” she lied, but in the silence that followed, she decided to tell some of the truth. “I mean, I’m hurting, of course…and I feel really embarrassed…but life goes on, right?”

  “Yes, it does,” Kate agreed. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, though. Gage really believed Aaron was going to stick around, or he wouldn’t have encouraged you to give him a chance.”

  “I know, but it’s not that, and it’s not his fault. I’m the one to blame. I thought Aaron felt something for me, something more than he did, and I was wrong. I made my own choices, and now I have to live with them.”

  “Oh, Sara,” Kate half-hugged her. “I think he does feel something for you, but he doesn’t know what to do with those feelings. They probably scare him because he’s been hiding for so long.”

  “It doesn’t matter. He’s moved on, and one day, so will I,” she said.

  “I’m so sorry you’re hurting.”

  “Thank you,” Sara said, desperate to change the subject. “Hey, Gage isn’t worried about me saying anything is he?”

  “Not at all. He knows he can trust you,” Kate assured her.

  “Great.” She didn’t want the sheriff to worry about her sharing his secret. She’d never tell. “I guess I’d better get going. Thanks for listening.”

  “Anytime. Do you want to do something later? That huge craft fair is going on today. We can drive over and check it out?”

  “I can’t leave until eleven, but that sounds great.”

  “Good. I’ll see if Darcy and Sam can join us,” Kate said, getting up from the counter. “Oh, I almost forgot. Gage picked up your prescription last night, but I wouldn’t let him take it over in case you wanted to be alone. I hope you weren’t in too much pain without it.”

  “Thank you, Kate. I appreciate it,” Sara said, gathering up her box of sweets and the medicine. “I definitely needed the alone time, and I forgot about the pain until my shower this morning, so I’m grateful to have it.”

  “We’ll pick you up at eleven, okay?”

  “Sounds good. See you then.”

  “See you.”

  Sara walked back to her home and mentally planned her day, grateful Kate had suggested the outing. Hanging out with the girls would be the perfect distraction to keep her from thinking about Aaron. She couldn’t wait until eleven.

  ***

  Aaron stood on Main Street and surveyed the town.

  It had been a week since he’d left Bear Mountain, but he’d needed the time to work through his issues. Waking up in the cave in bear form had been an experience, and so had hunting for breakfast.

  He’d opted for fish almost every day, because chasing down the rabbit his bear wanted had made him queasy. When he’d finally given in and agreed to find something red-blooded, he immediately decided he didn’t want to do it again. He still preferred his meat cooked medium well.

  His bear had only let him shift twice, once to pick up some human food, and another to test their newfound compromise in a crowded mall.

  He agreed to accept his bear, and shift and run at least once a week, and his bear agreed not to randomly shift—even if their mate were in danger. The human form controlled all of the shifts, as it should be, but the bear wouldn’t be hidden anymore.

  The second half of their compromise included claiming their mate and becoming part of the clan. Bears were mostly solitary creatures, except when a shifter mate became pregnant. The energies from the cubs caused the bears to congregate and surround the expectant couple. With other bears around, it would be easier to embrace everything his animal had to offer.

  Gage had tried to help him in the past, and he hoped the invitation still existed, but his mate came first. When he embraced his full self, everything became crystal clear.

  Sara had been the missing piece all along.

  A mate soothed a shifter in several ways, but the most important involved balance. A mate would complete him, keep him grounded, and never let him turn his back on his bear again. All of the knowledge he’d gained over the past week proved how much he needed her, but they weren’t the reasons he came back.

  He came back because he loved her, and the thought of living one more day without her nearly drove him insane. He’d never met anyone he’d wanted as much, not even his ex all those years ago. Sara was kind, smart, beautiful and most importantly, she loved all of him. She’d been honest about her feelings in the hotel room. He had to be honest about his.

  He knew he had a lot to make up for, and a large amount of groveling would be in order, but he’d never give up. Now that he’d found his mate, he’d never let her go.

  Chapter Six

  Sara woke when the sun leaked through a crack in the dark shed, signaling another morning. She tried to adjust her hands, but the knot the hunters made wouldn’t budge. The rope dug into her skin and she could see where the rough binding had broken through. Dried blood colored the rope and her dirty wrists.

  The smell of the dirty bandana between her teeth made her want to gag, and it was tied so tight it cut into the corners of her mouth. Her stomach rumbled and her throat was on fire. She needed water, though she knew she would never get it.

  Dried tears lay in rows down her face, but she had no more tears left. She’d been missing for three days, and she knew no one would ever find her. The hunters waited for the bear to save her, but she knew he wouldn’t come. How much longer would they wait before they killed her?

  She closed her eyes and thought back to a week ago, the day she went out with the girls. They drove into the next town over for the huge craft fair, and there she’d seen the table of bear paraphernalia. Tucked in between the coloring books and figurines, lay containers of bear claws and bear teeth. She’d picked up a business card right before the hunter who shot her returned to th
e table.

  He’d recognized her immediately.

  “Hey, it’s the bear whisperer,” he sneered. “You cost me money that day, sweetheart.”

  “Grizzlies are a threatened species. It’s illegal to hunt them,” she replied.

  “That is none of your business,” he spat back.

  “You made it my business when you shot me,” she said, “and if I didn’t intervene, he would have killed you.”

  “Not likely. I would have shot him first,” he retorted.

  “You can believe that if you want to, but I saw what happened and you would have been dead. Did you get these teeth and claws off of other bears you’ve killed?”

  “You bet. People pay top dollar for this stuff, especially if it’s from a grizzly. You should hunt with us. You can lure in the bears and I’ll give a cut of the profit.”

  “You’re crazy. I’m not going to help you; I’m going to report you.”

  He leaned across the table and crowded her personal space.

  “Do it and you’ll be sorry,” he seethed.

  “Sara, there you are,” Kate said behind her.

  She knew the stuff on the table would upset her friend, and she didn’t want the slimy man anywhere near the pregnant woman. She turned and blocked the woman’s approach.

  “Sorry, I got sidetracked. Are you guys ready for lunch?” Sara said, steering Kate toward the exit.

  “Yeah, I’m starved,” Kate said, laughing.

  Sara laughed too, but over the course of lunch, and the drive home, she couldn’t shake the feeling she was being watched. The hunters had seen her in the woods before, and it would be easy to figure out she lived nearby. She decided to report what she’d seen the minute they got back into town.

  The girls dropped her off at the sheriff’s office, and she shared her findings with both Gage and Dave, the deputy. They’d both warned her to be careful, and Gage escorted her home.