Panther Defender: (BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance) (Panther Ink Book 1) Read online

  At least not until they were both armed with a steaming cup of java.

  They’d separated when their coffees were ready, and Ivy seemed content to carry her brew with two hands, so Xander didn’t push the issue. Especially because he was about to push another issue, and he was pretty sure she was trying to protect herself for some reason. It may not have been blatant, but even though his mate had stood up to the guy, and laughed off his presence in the theater, he knew she’d put her guard back up, and he hated it.

  “So,” he said, breaking the silence between them. “The guy in the theater?”

  He didn’t elaborate, because he knew he didn’t have to.

  “My ex-boyfriend,” she nodded. “It’s been over for about six months.”

  “He hurt you.”

  It wasn’t a question, but he wasn’t asking. He already knew the answer.

  “Not physically,” she explained, “but yes, he did.”

  “Words are powerful,” he agreed, “and sometimes they can cut as deep as a physical blow. What happened?”

  “Oh, the usual,” she laughed. “We’d been dating for almost a year, and everything seemed perfect until one day it suddenly wasn’t. And I do mean suddenly—as in there were no signs, or anything. One day he just decided it was over, and…that was it.”

  Her slight pause told him there was a little more to the story, but even without all the details, he understood her apprehension to get involved with someone else.

  “Seriously? No excuses? No nothing? That must have been difficult.”

  “Difficult is an understatement,” she laughed nervously. “I was devastated. I… We’d talked about marriage—not details, but in an abstract way—and he supported my dream of owning my own cafe. I’d even put a down payment on a place, and had started making plans. I seriously thought he was the one.”

  Xander couldn’t stop the low growl that escaped from his chest. The thought of her marrying another man had all of his protective instincts on overdrive, but the fact that she’d cancelled her dreams because of some asshole made his panther want blood.

  “I know,” she said, giving him a self-depreciating smile. “Giving up on my dreams for some man was stupid, but the business would have failed if I’d pursued it at that time. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to accomplish anything, let alone get a business off the ground, and watching my business fail would have destroyed me all over again.”

  He gently grabbed her bicep and stopped walking, forcing her to face him.

  “I’m sorry that happened to you, kitten, but I’m also not sorry because if you and that loser had made it work, then I wouldn’t be here with you right now. And you belong with me.”

  He wanted to say more, but he knew he’d already said too much. Ivy knew it, too, because she took a step back from him, forcing his hand to fall, and started looking for an escape.

  Shit!

  He had no idea how to fix this, and but he wasn’t about to let her go.

  “Sorry,” he smiled tentatively, trying to ease some of the tension he’d caused. “That sounded really stalker-ish, and I didn’t mean that at all. I just meant that…I like you, and I’m glad you’re here.”

  She studied him for a long minute, and then nodded, and started walking again. He wasn’t sure she would say anything more, and he didn’t want to push it, so he just fell in step beside her.

  “I’m glad I’m here, too,” she whispered.

  ***

  Ivy stole another glance at Xander, and then took another sip of her coffee. They’d been walking in silence for the last couple of blocks, but the lack of conversation didn’t bother her. In fact, she’d needed a few minutes to regroup after telling him about her ex.

  Even though she hadn’t told him everything, the urge to reveal everything—even the hurtful words that she’d been silently terrified might have some truth to them—had been strong. After six months of only giving the barest of facts to family and friends, Xander had nearly destroyed all of her defenses.

  The ease and trust she felt in him boggled her mind, especially since she’d felt a connection to him almost immediately. Sure, she’d been worried about meeting his brothers, and moving too fast, but in the same breath, she’d wanted those things. In fact, she wanted to know everything about him.

  She also wanted to kiss him again.

  Ivy couldn’t help but smile at the thought. God, after her ex’s final words, the thought of getting intimate with anyone had completely disappeared. Hell, the thought of sex of any kind made her wince, and she hadn’t even attempted to use her vibrator, or touch herself intimately in months. Then Xander came along, and suddenly sex was all she could think about.

  She knew his looks played a big part into that, especially since she’d never seen a sexier man before in her life. Hell, her ex looked like chopped liver next to him, and at one time, she’d thought the man was good looking. Of course, her ex’s personality probably played a bit into her perception of him now, but Xander’s looks were still on a whole other level.

  Why didn’t that bother her?

  Women and men stared at him constantly, and normally, even before her hurtful past, she would feel intimidated by someone so out of her league, but she didn’t feel that way with Xander. In fact, he seemed oblivious to his effect on everyone around him, and even more impressive was the way he completely ignored everyone but her.

  No, ignored wasn’t the right word, because he’d clearly been looking for her ex when they’d left the theater, and he’d seemed hyper-aware of his surroundings the entire night, even when there weren’t any threats or ex-boyfriends around. Even so, he honestly didn’t seem to care about the opinion of others.

  Ivy liked that about him, but she also just liked him.

  He was kind, protective and sexy, and he seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. He was also built like a god carved from stone, and she could still feel the whisper of his lips against hers, and the solid muscle of his thigh warming her palm.

  God, she might be crazy, but she wanted more.

  The thought of getting naked in front of him made her heart beat frantically, but at the same time, she wanted him on a physical level that made her feel alive again for the first time in months.

  You’re repulsive.

  I was doing you a favor.

  I can’t live with this torture.

  No man will ever want you.

  The hurtful words of her ex filtered through her mind, and all of her doubts came rushing back. Suddenly, the silence between her and Xander was tainted by the past, and she wondered what he was thinking. Had he somehow seen what her clothes hid from the public? Had he changed his mind about wanting to be with her?

  “Hey,” he said. “I’m not ready for you to go yet. Do you want to come inside and look at my portfolio? Or get some ink?”

  Ivy laughed. She couldn’t help it. He’d raised his eyebrows on the last question, clearly teasing her, and her internal struggles nearly dissolved again. Xander clearly liked her, and for right now, she wasn’t going to question that.

  Plus, she wasn’t ready to go home yet, either.

  They walked past the property next door to the tattoo shop, and she stopped and looked in the window. The building was empty except for a long counter and display case that separated the front dining area from the door to what she assumed was the kitchen.

  The basic design was open and airy, and she liked the smallish size of the place. She could imagine a few tables set up in the lobby, but the long counter and display case were perfect for her trendy, fresh, fit, and mobile menu ideas.

  “Wow,” she said. “This place is so cute.”

  “It’s a nice place,” he agreed. “Is this the kind of place you had in mind for your cafe?”

  She’d mentioned the cafe idea to him during dinner, but didn’t add any weight to it until she’d told him about her ex. She’d never planned to reveal how close to reality her dream had actually been, but she’d accidental
ly outed herself when explaining how deeply she’d been hurt.

  Luckily, aside that sexy growly noise he’d made, Xander hadn’t judged her, and his reaction went a long way toward easing some of her embarrassment. She hadn’t planned on throwing away her dreams based on a man’s opinion of her, but that’s what had happened.

  Or maybe not.

  Maybe her dreams had just been on hold for a while, because looking in the window of the empty shop made her want all kinds of things she’d thought were gone forever.

  Including something physical with a beyond sexy man.

  “Yeah,” she smiled. “Honestly, it’s exactly what I had in mind. The place I’d planned to buy before needed a few upgrades, but from out here, this place doesn’t need much done. See that door behind the counter?”

  She pointed to the door that she assumed led to the kitchen, and when he nodded, clearly interested, she kept talking. She told him all of her ideas, including what color she’d paint the walls and what type of menu she’d serve, and she didn’t hold back anything.

  For the first time in over six months, she felt excited about her dream again, but more importantly, it was exciting to share her ideas with Xander. He’d listened intently, and commented or nodded when appropriate, but he let her tell him her ideas without interrupting, and genuinely seemed interested in what she had to say.

  “And…I think that’s about it,” she laughed, and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Thank you for listening to all of that. I know I got a bit carried away, but I haven’t talked about the cafe in a long time. It felt good get those ideas out there again.”

  “Good, I’m glad,” he said, grabbing her hand again. He linked their fingers together, and smiled down at her. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

  “I’m not sure, yet,” she said, honestly. “But I think it’s safe to say that my dream of owning my own cafe is still alive, and that feels pretty great.”

  “Owning your own place is pretty great,” he said, “even with all of the headaches, and you have some amazing ideas. I think you’ll be successful no matter where you decide to open your cafe, but you would do well here. You’d get a lot of the daytime workers and shoppers, and then you’d get some of the nighttime business, too, especially from the tattoo shop. Plus, you’d be right next door to me, and I like the idea of seeing you every day.”

  He brought their linked hands to his mouth, and kissed the back of her hand again. It was the second time he’d done it that night, and Ivy liked it more than she probably should. She took an involuntary step toward him, and a jolt of electricity raced up her arm and then shot straight to her core. Liquid heat dampened her panties, and she couldn’t deny the fact that seeing Xander every day would be a nice perk. Better than a perk if she was allowed to touch him whenever and wherever she wanted to.

  Her cheeks heated as she stared into his gorgeous green eyes and thought about not only touching him, but outlining his tattoos with her tongue. Xander’s eyes darkened, as if he could read her mind and liked the direction of her thoughts, and standing so close to him, she felt more than heard, a soft vibration coming from his chest.

  God, the sounds this man made…they nearly made her melt into a puddle.

  Chapter Five

  Xander stared into his mate’s beautiful brown eyes, and for the first time in his life, he felt wildly out of control. The way Ivy was looking up at him made him think about all the wicked ways he wanted to make love to her curvy body, and because he couldn’t strip her down on the sidewalk, he leaned in to kiss her instead.

  He wanted to tell her that he owned the vacant building she’d been admiring, and that it was hers if she wanted it, but he knew it was too soon. Just like his stupid “you belong with me” comment from earlier.

  She did belong with him, but he knew she wasn’t ready for that declaration yet. Or the part of him that came with it.

  If he’d confessed to owning the building, she would have never shared all of her business plans, and he would have never seen the unchecked excitement that she’d buried with her dreams when her loser ex dumped her six months ago.

  That asshole was a real piece of work, and Xander hated that there was more to the story than he knew. Not that he could blame Ivy for keeping him in the dark. Whatever her ex uttered on the way out the door had hit her hard, and she needed time to bury his words. At the same time, Xander knew they were just words, and that they were more than likely bullshit.

  That was one lesson that had stuck with him growing up as he watched, and heard, his father voice lie after lie. If she confided in him, then he was sure he could help her, but, at the same time, he knew her secret was something he might never know.

  As alpha, he understood that he couldn’t know everything about his pride, nor did he want to, but it was harder when that pride member was his mate. The primal part of him wanted to force her to confide in him, but his human side knew that was a mistake.

  Besides, he wasn’t his father.

  He would never force his mate to do something she didn’t want to do. Coax maybe, but never force. And he could think of a lot of delicious ways to coax her into submission.

  His panther purred beneath the surface, and he was too far gone to care. He was about to kiss his mate, and nothing else in the world mattered.

  Ivy placed a tentative hand on his chest, and the warmth he felt there shot straight to his cock. He wanted to feel her hands all over him, touching and kissing him everywhere. He imagined her lips around his dick, and the already thick shaft swelled and pressed painfully against the zipper of his jeans.

  Holy fuck!

  He was definitely out of control.

  He leaned down, slowly closing the couple of inches left between them, and brushed his lips against hers. His cat was going crazy, pacing and purring, urging to mark his mate, and to claim her for the whole world to see, but his human side—somehow—managed to not jump off the deep end.

  He wanted to, though.

  God, he wanted to mark her like his life depended on it, but he knew he couldn’t. He would never bully her into giving him what he wanted, and besides…biting her with his canines wouldn’t complete the mating bond. She had to bite him back, and the exchange had to be done during sex.

  He pulled back slightly, and then brushed his lips against hers again. And again. Ivy fisted his shirt, and he grabbed her hip with his free hand and pulled her flush against his body. She let out a soft gasp, and he used her open lips as an invitation to slip his tongue inside her mouth.

  She tentatively brushed her tongue against his, and he was lost.

  God, she felt like heaven.

  His cock throbbed wildly, and he wanted to press her up against the glass of the vacant building, and sink into her soft, warm body. The way she molded against him was a perfect fit, and he wanted to kiss her everywhere.

  He tore his mouth away from her lips, and kissed a trail down her neck. When he reached the juncture between her neck and shoulder, he nuzzled her neck, and slid the hand on her hip around her waist, pulling her tighter against him.

  His canines pressed against his gums, threatening to elongate, and his breathing was heavy and erratic. He took a deep breath, and fought the urge to sink his teeth into her flesh, even if it wouldn’t mean anything this time around.

  Ivy let go of his shirt, and slid her hand under his arm and up his back. She seemed to understand his need to gather control—hell, maybe she needed a minute, too—and she rested her head on his chest. She squeezed the hand still linked with his, and in response, Xander tightened his arm around her waist.

  He wanted to hold her forever.

  “I love the sounds you make,” she whispered, her voice breaking the silence surrounding them. “You sound like a cat.”

  Shit!

  Xander cleared his throat, dropped his hand from her waist, and took a step back to study her face. He still held her hand, but if she asked, he would let her go immediately. He knew he’d been out of cont
rol, but he’d never made himself so vulnerable in public, and the power she held over him was jarring.

  He looked up and down the street, but the crowd had hit a lull, and no one had been around since they’d stopped in front of the vacant building. The lack of passersby wasn’t unusual for this time of night, which is why he’d probably kissed her on the street in the first place, but the uneasy feeling he’d experienced after the movie had returned, and he couldn’t help but wonder what threat awaited him.

  That thought pushed him into action.

  He wanted Ivy off the street as soon as possible.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Let’s go in the shop.”

  He turned on his heel, and hurried down the short stretch of sidewalk, practically pulling Ivy behind him. He vaguely registered that she hadn’t seemed afraid or disgusted by his loss of control, and that thought went a long way toward easing some of his tension.

  “Xander, wait.”

  He didn’t wait. He couldn’t.

  Right now, his only mission was to get her safe inside the building.

  He opened the door to the tattoo shop, and stopped short at the sight of Grayson storming down the hall with his cell-phone in hand. His brother had just entered the building from the rear door, and the cat was royally pissed.

  “We have a problem,” Grayson said.

  Of course, they did.

  ***

  Ivy crashed into Xander, and before she could say another word, Grayson approached them with his cell-phone in hand. He gave the device to Xander, and a quick glance at the screen showed a car that had been spray-painted with the word “whore” on the driver’s side.

  “There are three pictures,” Grayson said. “I went for a run, and it was like that when I got back. I was just about to text you.”

  “Nox?”

  “He’s with the same client he had when I left, and he’s been working for over an hour. I was only gone about thirty minutes, but there isn’t a discernible scent. I did a perimeter sweep, but couldn’t find a lead.”